Why "That Married Girl"?
For starters, I am 22 and I have been married for almost 4 years. When I go out and meet new people, my friends often introduce me as "The Married Girl." This title gives me a label. It makes people feel more comfortable, like they've figured me out. The definition that my own friends give me makes me uncomfortable. The truth about this statement: It only means I'm married.
I mentioned to one of my best friends that I didn't like the way she had recently introduced me, "This is Jenn, she's married." This introduction made me feel like I am not expected to have a social life outside of my marriage. So I asked her, "What if I introduced you and said, 'This is my friend, she's perpetually single.'?" I've realized over time that as soon as someone my age hears that I'm married, they begin to label me even more. They all ask me the same questions:
How long have you been married? Fair enough.
Did you really get married when you were 18?! Did I stutter?
Do you have children? Are you going to have a baby soon? No, and no.
I am put into a box and more times than not, I am placed on a shelf. It seems that women aren't always interested in having a friend that doesn't want to go to every house party, get blackout drunk, or sleep around. It's a thing, even if all young men and woman don't act that way. Girls, I love getting drinks, dancing (yes, even with strangers, because it's JUST dancing,) and closing the bar at 3AM. I'm a college girl and I like to have fun, which doesn't change just because I'm married. It seems that men often times feel threatened by the fact that I'm married and don't feel comfortable continuing a longterm friendship. I only have a handful of really close guy friends, even though I'm a total guy's girl. Fellas, it's okay to be my friend and it's even okay to compliment the way I look. I'm married, not dead.
I don't always tell people I meet that I'm married, either, at least until they send me a friend request on Facebook and discover the fact themselves. It's a relationship status, not a definition. My views on how others see my marital status really has no effect on my actual marriage to my husband, Dylan. He's the best person I've ever known and I'm still very happy with the decision I made to marry him at a young age. None of this stuff would have happened without my spectacular husband, who has also seen similar situations, as he has been treated differently by some of his friends. This blog is about freedom from relationship status, freedom from society's expectations, and freedom of letting you hold yourself back for any reason. I'm here to overstep the boundaries that others have drawn out for me in the sand. Welcome to "That Married Girl."
