How to Break All the Rules (and Get Away With It)

The people who have the most adventures in this life are the people who break the most rules.

Of course, we all have an idea of what the rules are in American society, but with the rise of the Millennial generation, that dusty old rulebook is being thrown out the window.  I was born in 1992, which means I was born exactly in the middle of my generation. I've heard news sources claiming that our generation (ranging from those in their early 30's to those in their early teens) are ruining our country.

What people who make these accusations don't understand is that we don't care.

I am certain that my generation has no importance held in the ramblings of old white men. We are the revolution. I see my generation in a positive light, not only because I am a Millennial, but because we are loving, accepting, and forgiving. We break the rules.

Unlike many people in generations before us, I have yet to see anyone blame other generations for the downfalls that they have certainly added to society. What is it that Millennials do differently?

To me, it seems that we aren't willing to sacrifice true happiness in order to adhere to the asinine rules that have been built into our society. We want to learn, create, travel, inspire, lead, give, develop, and change. More than any before us, we find comfort in taking risks.

I say this all the time, but I'll say it again: I can't wait for Millennials to begin running for office, starting businesses, and stepping out of the mind-set that America is the end-all, be-all; the great thing about this list is that some of us have already accomplished some of these things!

Don't take what I just said out of context, either. America is a strong country, but we can definitely learn more about handling the economy, civil rights/equality, education, and keeping the peace from other nations on this teensy little planet.

What a crime it is to believe that we are only where we are. It is vital to remember that within the context of the entire universe, and universes beyond ours, we are miniscule. Our lives mean next-to-nothing, which is terrifying for so many (including myself) but it is also freeing. 

So, how do we break the rules?

Be you. Wear what you want, laugh at what you want, say what you want, create what you want, love who you want, eat what you want, go where you want, drink what you want, vote for who you want, read what you want, shave what you want, buy (or don't buy) what you want (or don't want), have sex with who ever (and how many ever) you want, write what you want, smoke what you want, support and fight for what you want, be whoever you want to be. 

Rules are there to make people afraid. To be fearless is the best example for future societies and generations. Do not perpetuate hate and evil just to keep up with our culture. You get away with breaking this rules by destroying this concept of societal rules and not allowing them to define you, your worth, or your happiness. 

Fuck normal. We are born weird. 

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Here in Indiana, all that we're talking about is the temperature. When I left for work this morning, it was -6° and it is currently 3°.

So, what do we do when it's cold? We still go to work and classes, but when we get home, most of us hit the bed in order to stay warm. We huddle and cuddle to keep from losing our sanity.

When it's this cold, you can't enjoy time outside and don't have a lot of "me" time, since it can actually be dangerous to brave the icy temperatures. Cabin fever can be a legitimate concern, for some people.

If I could, I would find Elsa and slap her.

It is a damn challenge to "let it go" when your fingers are frozen.

Now, the cold doesn't just affect our bodies, but it affects our mind and mood. For those who live alone and don't go outside, there can be psychological effects from isolation. Yes, loneliness can drive you insane. (In the U.S. prison system, solitary confinement, a cruel and unusual punishment if you ask me, can only be used for 14 days at a time because humans are social creatures who need human interaction.) 

The best way to beat boredom is to find things inside to do. Be it cook, exercise, play games, read a book, clean, listen to music and dance, watch Netflix, talk to/Skype with a good friend, play with your pet, take a hot bath with a glass of wine, rearrange furniture, or really turn up the heat with some steamy sexy-time, there are ways to enjoy yourself on a blustery, freezing day. 

It's so easy to be an outright grump when the temperatures drop and I think that is because there is less likelihood for adventure. The best kind of thrill you can honestly get in the winter months is if you have a snowball fight or your car slides on ice. Let's face it, that second one is more terrifying that adventurous. 

So, I've made myself a promise. 

After this year, I'm breaking up with winter indefinitely.

To better myself and grow, I feel that I need the entire calendar year to seek my great perhaps. I need to have a breeze (that doesn't freeze me) in February. I need a hike in December. I need to not be forced into wearing anything warmer than a sweatshirt in January. There is nothing, not even a couple of week-long vacations, that will satisfy my desire to become unattached to my surroundings (the place I've lived the majority of my life) and attain a greater purpose. I am not where I live. I am not a Hoosier. 

I am me.

With that being said:

To my future-self,

Instead of just talking about it, go do it. You'll thank me later.

The "I Do"s

Think about the last wedding you attended. There may have been pre-ceremony drinks, there were probably beautiful bridesmaids and handsome groomsmen. A dapper groom and a gorgeous bride. My favorite aspect of weddings? The vows.

The best vows are sentimental, honest, love-filled, hopeful, and written from scratch by the nearly-newlyweds. Sometimes these vows hold jokes that lead to laughter, themes that spark glee, or promises that inspire love and inevitably, tears blossom. No matter the way that the bride and groom exchange the words which build to the "I do"s, they are among the most meaningful messages shared between a couple. These words begin a marriage.

In light of the love-filled holiday that I personally adore, Valentine's Day, I want to share the vows I wrote with all of my Marys!

I held back tears of joy and screams of delight while reading:

I, Jennifer, affirm my love for you, Dylan, as I invite you to share my life. You are the most intelligent, handsome, and caring person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect and love you. With kindness, selflessness, and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together. Your heart and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be. I vow to comfort you, encourage you, and honor you, remain faithful to you, and cherish you as long as we both shall live. 

I look back to the time before our wedding and I remember writing these words. To me, they were never just expressions of what I hoped to give to my husband, but they were representations of all that we had overcome and all that we would slay.

Most of all, I strive everyday since I proclaimed this message to uphold the vows I made. After all this time, I still feel as if those words were not just a commitment, but an oath that I choose to endorse on the bad days, where we are both busy and exhausted, as well as on the good days, where tears fill my eyes because of the love in my heart, days where he races to be by my side.

That's what it's all about. Being recklessly, fervidly, passionately in love.

To Dylan: I hope that I fulfill these promises and affirm my love, OUR love all the days of our life together. I can only hope that I make you feel the way you make me feel: like the sun in the center of y(our) universe.

Do What Scares You

In life and love, the happiest and most successful people are those who took risks. Trust me, I know how terrifying risks can be, but in truth, if you aren't afraid of it, is it worth doing at all?

People tend to play it safe more often than not, which means that we're stunting our growth as human beings simply because we're afraid. I suppose if you try something new and it doesn't work out, there are bad things that could happen, but wouldn't it be better to have tried, failed, and learned?

Of course human nature tells us to be careful, to choose behaviors that aren't risky in order to survive. It's evolution. We learn and adapt. It's true that we shouldn't eat hotdogs, macaroni and cheese, Cheetos, and soda for every meal because that would lead to an unhealthy body and likely an early death.  We shouldn't smoke a carton of cigarettes, binge drink, or shoot heroin. Duh, right? Science and our biological instinct has given us more than enough information to make sure that we are healthy, physically. What is lacking here is risk for the sake of achieving a goal that will improve your life, or risk for the sake of love. Taking those kinds of risks just seem natural.

Duh... right?

All I've heard in recent years is "I don't want to get hurt" or "I'm not going to deal with trying to date in my early 20's because every guy/girl just plays games" or "I just don't have time for a relationship." What I actually take from these statements: "I'm scared."

To me, these sorts of excuses are equivalent to saying, "I don't want to leave my house because I may get a sunburn." It means that young people are scared to death of something that could very well happen, but if it does, it will only hurt for a little while, something that will be but a distant memory in time. This is also the equivalent to saying, "I'm not going to go to that job interview because I may not get the job."

Baby, we're just born into risky business. It means insane to do something that scares you while you're actually doing it, but in hindsight, you'll see it was worth it.

Look at me: I moved in with my then-boyfriend at midnight on my 18th birthday (not completely for romantic reasons, but still), which let me tell you, was fucking SCARY. I had no security net, no money, no car, and no high school degree (yet). I placed all my chips on the bet that my love would not fail. I married that man, another risk seeing as how the divorce rate is more than 50%.

I also took a risk changing my major three times just to be a writer. (Writing is also a very risky career path, as there is no work/job/money guaranteed.) You either have to be bold or be boring, and there is NOTHING in life that is worse than being a bore. Live fantastically and tell your tales to your grandchildren. How do you expect exciting things to happen without looking at that thing that scares the hell out of you and saying, "Try me." Life isn't measured by the mistakes we make or how many times we fail, but it is in how we charge on, fearlessly.

Be brave, the whole world is waiting for you.