Now, before we start this countdown, let me say that this list isn't just about married sex, but about having a committed sex partner for an extensive period of time. It doesn't magically become the best sex of your life because you have a legal document that has been signed. This also means that I don't see premarital sex as immoral in any way.
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1. You get to know yourself.
It's awfully hard to get to know your sexual needs and desires when you're not having very much sex. When you have a long-term partner, it is easy to figure yourself out because you get so many trial-runs. Figuring out who you are as a sexual being is key to satisfaction.
2. You get to know your partner.
This can never be a bad thing. Being able to satisfy your partner is really an ego-boost. They know that you care about what they enjoy and what they desire, but you also pick up some pretty cool go-to techniques over time.
3. Communication.
Adequate communication in the bedroom leads to adequate communication in other aspects of your relationships. You find a way to express your needs and wants in a manner that allows discussion. Just as it is with sex, you can't demand your partner to do exactly what you want, when you want it. You can make a request, figure out the ground rules, etc. Being able to communicate well is really where the foundation of successful relationships lies. If you two aren't on the same page, either in life or in between the sheets, you'll soon find that neither one of you will be satisfied.
4. No awkward the-morning-after situations.
When you're committed, the worst thing about the morning after is that you have morning-breath. And the best part? Morning sex. You don't have to worry about finding your clothes or sneaking out of his/her place or leaving your phone number on their nightstand or a meaningless "this is my last night in town/the state/the country" hook-up. There's no awkwardness and sometimes, if you're lucky, your significant other will make you breakfast. #perks
5. They'll call you back.
Well, shit. Who really wants the person they exchanged bodily fluids with to talk to them again? ...oh, yeah, NORMAL PEOPLE. Relationships aren't, or shouldn't be, about the chase. It's not a game when your mind, heart, and body are a major factor to be considered by your partner. A lot of us have had a one-night-stand, which can be a good 'ol time, especially if you know the person in another context (meaning a pre-existing human relationship that won't be ruined by having sex), but having an empty encounter with someone you never knew before and never will know is kind of degrading. Lowering your self-worth to get down and dirty just isn't going to make your sex life better.
6. Practice makes perfect.
I've said this to countless fraternity guys and I'll say it again: As a married girl, I have more sex than you. (You = single person.) I have sex whenever I want, which most uncommitted individuals can't say. Being in a relationship means that you can go and go and go until you can't go anymore. For the other upsides of being able to have a ton of sex, see numbers 1-3, 7, and 8. ;) Eventually, even if you are/were terrible in bed to begin with (it's a-ok and pretty normal), you will get better, just like you (hopefully) got better at driving a car. Better sex leads to compliments on performance and that leads to more self-confidence. Win-win.
7. You can explore.
You wanna do it in the car? A public place? A blanket under the stars? A tent on the beach? You name it, you probably can or will have sex there. Not to mention all the ways... "Let me count the ways!" You get the point, kids. Trust is vital to sexual exploration, which is why experimentation is the very best in long-term romances.
8. It keeps getting better.
The thrill is in the how, not the who. I can honestly say that the guy I get to have sex with is my best friend and I am more in love with that fella everyday. This makes our bond tighter: as teammates, as lovers, as friends, as encouragers, as spouses. We grow and progress every time we come together to physically express our love.
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If you're single, have fun in your sex life (if you're having any) and if you're in a realtionship, let your DAMNGOODSEX lead you down the trail of complete and utter bliss. Don't use sex as a weapon, let sex allow you to ignore what you need to work on inside of yourself, or have sex because someone tells you/make you feel like you have to. Do have safe sex, especially if you don't have a monogamous partner. Sex is natural and invigorating, so enjoy the time you have on this little planet and get yours.
