Inevitably, all the relationships that you will ever have will go one of two ways: you'll break up or you'll be together for the rest of your lives.
I suppose this idea could be a bit menacing, but what really gets me is the road that leads to both of these outcomes. The majority of my friends are single and while cringing about some of the situations they've all encountered, I think the worst of them all is the breakups.
I don't say that breakups are the worst because I think being single sucks because I don't think that at all. I say that because I see that so many men and women don't really know how to deal with a breakup, therefore making it suck for the two people involved. There's a commonality in a lot of the relationship endings that I've witnessed:
Men will completely excommunicate the woman they are seeing.
I think that this trend has risen from the technological age that we're in. I find that men are afraid to directly confront a woman, possibly, which leads to a total cut-off. Now, I'm certainly not blaming men for this behavior, and I'm sure that there are also women that do this, but I must ask, when did it become acceptable to treat a human being as if they're a name on a screen, and not an actual person?
I tried to understand why a person would shut someone out so coldly, and the only answer that I came to is that they are afraid of hurting the other parties' feelings, yet it hurts much more to not even be acknowledged as someone getting broken up with. I do think that some men may do this because a lot of women seem to be overly dramatic when going through the "We Need To Talk" speech. Whoever is on the receiving end of the breakup obviously has a right to be upset, if they've been in a serious two-sided relationship, but I think all people should look at it this way:
If a man/woman completely cuts you off, why hold on so tightly? Would you really want to (potentially) marry someone who doesn't want to marry you?
For my husband and I, there wasn't a period where we ever questioned being together. We always knew. From the moment Dylan met me (literally a 30-second introduction, nearly a year before we ever went out on a date), he couldn't stop thinking about that girl. (Seriously, the most flattering thing I've ever heard from him, but yes, I also know that this doesn't happen with everyone.)
When going through an excommunication, I think that moving on quickly really is the best way to go, because wasting time and energy mourning a relationship you had with a person that doesn't want you isn't conducive to your love life or your mental health.
As adults, we should be able to let go of something that is one-sided. Marriage is consensual, meaning that you can't force someone to marry you (or if you have the magical powers to do so, you can't force them to be happily married or stay married). If you don't intend on ever getting married, you're more than likely going to endure even more breakups than other people.
If you want to end a relationship, seriously just have the guts to speak to that person either in-person or over the phone, so they can at least be told directly that you aren't interested anymore. I know that this is a simplification of breakups and relationships, but it all boils down to how you handle the tough situations that come about. Respecting the other person that you are/were involved with is a simple trait that all human beings should possess.
Remember, people are people and sometimes is doesn't work out. And that's okay.
