In life, we all experience different scares: medical concerns, a low bank-balance, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy, failing a final exam, getting lost in a foreign country, or even an upcoming college graduation. Whatever the case may be, life and all it's uncertainty can scare anyone.
For married people, I find that the scariest thing is the idea of divorce.
Think about your wedding day (even if you haven't gotten married.) Think about loving someone so much that you vow to forever spend your life with that person. Think about years going by, happiness filling your home, and then it all turns cold and grey.
Try to image why it would be frightening. I find it scary simply because getting divorced would mean that everyday, I would wake up without my best friend beside me, my lover to dance with to my favorite songs, my companion to explore the world with, my buddy to share jokes with, my chosen life partner. The ultimate terror for me, is to imagine the possibility of no longer loving or being loved by (completely, unwaveringly, wholly, unquestionably) my husband.
If you watched The Office, consider how sad and confusing it was when we thought that Jim and Pam's marriage was headed for divorce? It can happen to anyone... That's why Dylan and I have discussed the possibility.
We've received a good amount of backlash about our openness to the topic of divorce. The way we look at it, we didn't know that we would be who we are today (after just 4 years of marriage), so who is to say that we will still be a good match 30 years from now? When we got married, I was 18 and Dylan was 22. We've grown more in 4 years than we could have guessed, but I honestly believe that we grew together, and I know that is a blessing.
Through our divorce-discussion, we have promised to always be friends. Maybe not best friends, or anything, but still be hopeful for the other's success and happy in their life adventure. We can't guarantee what would happen if we did split, but we hope to never lose all of our love.
My parents got divorced, so I know first-hand that there are life-long effects afterwards. About half of the married couples that you know will get divorced. That's scary. Now, is it that humans aren't actually meant to have long-lasting monogamous relationships? I can't answer that, but I do know that if you consistently remember to take care of yourself and your spouse, your love should thrive and bloom every day.
Love isn't perfect. Love can't fix everything. Love is a fragile little thing that must be protected from the evils of the world. Don't let the little things get under your skin. Pull those skeletons out of your closet and you won't have to deal with any ghosts haunting you. Keep love-sucking vampires out of our life. Address an issue before it becomes a monster. Fill your love with light and you'll no longer have anything to fear.
