The Indianapolis Museum of Art has a large plot of land called 100 Acres, which has outdoor art installations riddled through the several paths that revolve around a small lake. All along one stretch of path are little, white signs that say and point to various things. Being the explorer that I am, I wandered into a mass of these signs, in order to take a photo when a young British man, probably not much older than I am, asked, "Are you trying to follow the signs somewhere?"
I answered no.
Later on, as I walked a bit more I thought, Yeah, I guess I am. In some ways I am looking at all of the events that have occurred in my life and all the people who have come, some have stayed and some have gone. Maybe these are the signs I'm hoping to lead me toward the "right" path
That man was the only person I encountered while I was in the woods, yet he asked me the most meaningful question I've been asked in years. Innocent as it was, it inspired me to dig deep into myself and find who I am. Sometimes you have to wander around and lose your entire sense of direction in order to find yourself. Allowing myself to get caught in the inertia of the trees that are forever unwavering, I was able to be undistracted and focus on me.
As a woman in American society, I find it hard to escape the expectations that so many people, even strangers, have. I want to be a leader. I crave it. The likelihood that I will be able to surpass my fellow male peers, no matter how good I am at what I do, is minimal. I find that very troubling. If I know who I am, who I was born to be, and cannot fulfill that because I was born a female, what does that say about our society? What if I'm better than all the men?
In some ways it is challenging to comprehend the leadership of women. How many female role models are there in American media that haven't been called fat, sexy, stupid, "masturbation material," whore, ugly, bitch, crazy, has her sexuality questioned, or has been said that she does her job well, "for a woman"?
Did you know that in film, only 16% of protagonists are female? The majority of these roles have to do with marriage, dating, pregnancy, or motherhood. I know many people may be asking, "What about the movies that focus on a woman who runs a company?" Let's take a look: In The Devil Wears Prada, the female boss is rude, condescending, judgmental, and upholds American beauty standards that trivializes women's role in society and in the workforce, then to top it all off, she is lonely and unhappy. That is just one example.
How did we, as the Americans who make up our society and culture, get to this point? Often times, we blame society for it's problems, but we ARE society. In films from the 1920's and 1930's, female characters could be a wife and mother, the femme fatal, the seductress, be witty and complex, all within the same character, so why is it that women are equivalent to a sexual object in 2014?
Somewhere along the way on this walk I took, I realized that the only human being I owe anything to is myself. I owe myself love, forgiveness, patience, and most of all, understanding. No one can completely control how the worlds treats them, but we certainly can control how we treat ourselves. Be nice to you. Eat healthy and exercise. Write and read and draw and laugh.
To succeed in any and all aspects of your life, including relationships with lovers, friends, family, along with your education and work, you have to be who you are at all times. Pretending doesn't get anyone anything, except emptiness. To live a full, rich life, you cannot run away. You have to face fears and most of those fears lie within ourselves.
What I mean to say is that I found myself in the woods. I believe that I have successes in store that I cannot even begin to imagine, yet I have no one's shoes to fill because women are next-to-never at the top of the ladder. My mind is much more powerful than my body. I urge all people, but especially women, to take the time to discover the deepest aspects of themselves and try to determine what kind of roles you are destined to fill.
We only have one go at this thing. Spend some time all alone in the woods and get acquainted with yourself; You never want to lose you.
