Relationships are complicated and are made up of so many different parts. Intimacy and sex are probably the most complicated pieces of the love-puzzle, but here is a post to help figure it out just a little more. If you're looking for steamy tips on how to please your partner, you've come to the wrong blog. Sex is a physical act of love, expression, passion, and lust; this specific post is focused on aspects that create a successful sex life.
1. Communicate
Some people don't like to discuss sex, but it is important to share with your partner what you enjoy and don't enjoy in your sex life. Talking simply about what you want can easily make great sex more achievable. People aren't mind-readers, so giving hints, tips, and sometimes outright requests can make your partner feel closer to you and give them confidence in knowing what they can do to ensure your sexual satisfaction. Sex is a subject that should be a worry-free zone, so being kind about what your partner fantasizes about will bring you closer, and that begins to build up your entire relationship, knowing that other parts of your life can also be approached with the same mind-set.
Giving your partner praise for a job well done can bring you much closer, too. Everyone likes to be told that they are doing a good job and compliments can be oh so meaningful (and sexy) to bring into the bedroom. If your partner feels confident, they can add extra attention to you, your body, and your desires instead of being concerned with "doing ________ 'correctly'." Talk may be cheap, but there is no end to the richness it can bring into your sex life.
2. Be Open
When you and your partner discuss what you want out of your sexual experiences with each other, it is key to keep an open mind and make sure that even if you aren't into something, you keep yourself from judging their preference or shutting the possibility down immediately. As with any aspect of marriage/relationships, keeping an open mind is a step in the right direction. For both partners to be fully satisfied, each person has to consider the other's needs and desires. If you do decide to try something outside of the norm for you, there could be a pleasant surprise that you can add to your regular itinerary.
Also, this allows for the promise of spontaneity and since variety is the spice of life, that can take you just about anywhere emotionally, as well as physically.
3. Aim for Quantity Over Quality
Believe it or not, in a relationship it is actually better for a couple to have more sex rather than to have "better" sex. Why? Research has found that couples who don't engage in sexual activity on a regular basis often lose physical intimacy. Kat Van Kirk, MA, DHS, clinical sexologist, marriage therapist, and author of The Married Sex Solution suggests that we should be, "removing the expectation of having long, technical lovemaking sessions." This means that having 10 focused minutes for a morning-shower quickie or a hot make out session can build more intimate moments than so many quality-seeking couples have experienced in years, but the great thing about this kind of sex, these sessions can turn out to be longer, too. The more you are intimate with your partner, the more intimate your entire relationship will be.
4. Challenge Each Other
With quantity being the main goal, it can really be a fun little game to make a challenge out of your sex schedule. It depends on how frequently you and your partner like to get down, but say you two like to have sex three times a week, make a pact to have sex AT LEAST that number of times. There isn't a whole lot of competition for a winner here, except your sexual activity will grow and your entire relationship will become stronger as a result of fulfilling the promise. It can also be fun to throw a high number into the mix one week, especially if you're on vacation and stress-free. Challenging yourselves to having sex 7+ times in a week can make you feel like you're on your honeymoon again!
5. Relax and Have Fun
All in all, sex is about having fun and expressing love, so just relax and enjoy what your partner has to offer. Being relaxed beforehand can also guarantee that you have more successful sex, as you aren't worried about deadlines, money, your in-laws, parenting (if you have children), or anything else. Let yourself be fully in the moment. I firmly believe that if the two of you don't laugh at least once in your lovemaking session, you aren't doing it right.
We are sexual beings and having a happy sex life is really the key to a happy relationship.
