Everyone had heard the term "fight or flight" which is a response to an often threatening situation which causes a person to use (verbal/physical) force or run away. I've been thinking over the past few days what kinds of situations may cause a fight or flight response, but what I kept finding lead a lot back to the type of relationship you have with the "threat."
In my experience, the types of situations where I feel physically, emotionally, or psychologically unsafe seem to involve people that I now label as TOXIC. Often times, bad friends or frenemies can be the most fight-inducing people, because you may have seen them in a better light until you sometimes bump heads because you're just too diffrent and argue. I think this is the best time to use your flight. Cut ties and end relationships that aren't in your best interest, especially if they tear you down, try to discredit you or show no reason for your trust. Sometimes this involves the other person in your relationship/marriage. In any type of domestic violence situation, the final choice should always be flight.
BUT on the other side of this coin, there comes love. We all know that love makes people do crazy things, but how do you know when to use fight or use flight?
I say fight. Fight everyday for the person you love, never giving up on them. Help them fight for themselves, too. If your significant other is lost or acting uncharacteristic of who you know them to be, fight by their side until they have dealt with whatever they are going through. It is so hard to see the ones you love suffer, but helping them with their fight will prove that you are a fighter. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. If you and your partner aren't getting along so well, giving up isn't always the answer. If you slow down, make time for each other, listen, and work on a plan for both of you to make improvements, then you are fighting against stress, depression, anxiety, natural differences, lack of time, or whatever it is that is causing the issue.
Don't run away from love or the possibility of love simply because you are afraid of what may or may not happen. Keep a positive, open mind and everything else will fall in line.
