In a relationship and especially in marriage, I find it important for each person to have their own sense of freedom. As we get older, many are looking for a long-term partner or spouse. Before getting into a relationship, it's key to feel completely free in being yourself. In no way should someone ever have to change the root of who they are for another person.
If you like to read, read. If you like to explore, explore. If you like to watch Netflix for countless hours while eating countless spoonfuls of Nutella, do it. I mean, If you can't be you around you, who can you be you around?
Freedom is really all about being comfortable with who you are and embracing it. And if you don't feel free, look deeper and see if something is holding you back. Whether it be your confidence, you attitude, your weight, or the company you keep, find a way to change what is keeping you from feeling free. I personally dropped some weight and dropped some friends, both of which kept me from feeling good about myself and kept me from being truly free.
All Americans know tomorrow, July 4th, is Independence day. This day is all about celebrating the amazing freedoms we have in this country and those who helped us get there. In a marriage, your spouse is (or should be) your biggest supporter, the other person who can help you find your independence. He/she is often times the only other person who knows what keeps you from being free. Oftentimes, we don't even know we feel restricted by people, places, or things until our attitude starts to show it. If someone is a negative or mean-spirited person, chances are, they aren't happy with themselves, and while feeling trapped in a place of self-hate and sometimes, self-loathing, they have no way to find their independence or freedom.
Another aspect that may keep someone from feeling free is reliance on parents. I have been financially independent since my 18th birthday, which is one reason why I think independence comes easily to me. While being young, it can be hard to balance college and work. Many people live with their parents while they are setting themselves up financially. I've found that a lot of my friends feel very uncomfortable talking about money, either because their parents cover most of their expenses (rent, tuition, phone, car, doctor expenses, insurance, etc.) or they are in debt. I am lucky to say that my husband and I aren't in any debt (until I graduate college next May,) but I can imagine what it would feel like if there were a dark cloud over my head. As young adults, I believe that it is our own responsibility to take care of ourselves, true independence.
When it come to the daily aspect of being in a marriage, both parties need to have the ability to spend time doing something they enjoy, even if their partner isn't into it. Everyone has different needs. For example, my husband is introverted, so he likes to have some quiet time either with me, where we work on our own projects or alone, where he can recharge and meditate. I am very extroverted, which means that I get energy from interacting with other people, so to fulfill those needs, I'll go out to lunch with my mom or I'll have a night out at a bar (or five) with my friends. It is that kind of Independence that keeps both my husband and myself happy in the day-to-day life of our marriage. No matter how we fulfill those needs, it is a great reassurance that we can and do have the time to enjoy what makes/helps us feel free.
Being yourself at all times is the best way to ensure that you have total freedom. Find out what will help you achieve that freedom and just go for it. We only get one shot at life, so make the most of the awesome person you can become once you are freed.
